20 Weeks!

Since I haven't updated in a while, I will try to catch you up on the past seven weeks. I thought I would also fill you in on why I am not getting an ultrasound this week- when almost everyone does when they are 20 weeks pregnant.

At my 16 week appointment, I had an ultrasound. The main reason my doctor ordered it was to check my cervical length. Some times when women pprom, it is due to an incompetent cervix (where you start dilating before you are supposed to). If I was dilating or funneling, my doctor would have to put in a temporary stitch (cerclage) to make sure everything stayed closed for as long as possible. Fortunately, my cervix was long and closed- exactly what I was hoping for.

It was also during this ultrasound that I informed the nurse that I already know we are having a boy- that I found out at 13 weeks. To which she replied that it is very difficult to determine the sex that early because everything is so swollen down there for either sex. She did say, "I can see where she got that from, though- but I wouldn't paint the room over it." So I guess we aren't positive the sex yet, but I would be REALLY shocked if I was told I am having a girl at the next ultrasound. My mom and I also found a striking resemblance between this baby's ultrasound pictures and Brody's ultrasound pictures (not counting fluid). I know it is just an ultrasound and those things are hard to see anyways, but wow they are extremely similar looking.

From 16 weeks to today I have been far more positive about this pregnancy. I was just so terrified that something would go wrong. I absolutely hated being pregnant because I was preparing for the worst news every day. Jeremy and I talked many times about how it was hard to even get attached in the beginning, because if something did go wrong- I had to be able to keep my distance for my own sanity. I didn't know if I would have to go through multiple miscarriages before bringing a baby to term- I didn't know if there was something wrong with me to prevent me from being able to carry a baby. Please don't get me wrong though- I have never for one second wished I wasn't pregnant or have taken it for granted. I have cherished each day like you couldn't believe. It was about two weeks ago when the weight was lifted off my shoulders. I felt the baby kick! He is so alive and real to me, and I am so relieved that I know he is ok on a daily basis. I don't have to wait until I get the doctor's to hear or see a heartbeat. I was also thrilled to have made it past 19 weeks without rupturing this time, and I will be ecstatic to make it to 24 weeks when the baby is viable and the chances of survival outside of the womb (considering there has been fluid the entire time) is so much higher. I don't think like your typical pregnant woman!

As far as my next ultrasound goes: My OB wanted an ultrasound and cervical check next week (21 weeks gestation), and my high risk doctor wanted an ultrasound in three weeks (23 weeks gestation). Two ultrasounds two weeks apart, costing me $160 each time seemed a little expensive considering not much changes during this time. My doctors agreed and typically made me stick with the latest one. So April 19th (I think) should be my next ultrasound and when we officially find out the sex.

It definitely wasn't an easy decision to make, though. A few nights ago I laid in bed wondering if I should be waiting that long before my next ultrasound. I kept thinking that what if something was wrong, I would want to know sooner rather than later (again- I don't think like a normal pregnant woman). Then all the sudden my tummy started thumping, it was so weird. I put my hand on my stomach and I could feel the baby moving and he had hiccups! (Many of you will think this is a neat story, and others will know what it REALLY means to me). I definitely started crying because he might not be able to reassure me and tell me hes ok- but his big brother can :)