13 week genetics screening

Yesterday I had my 13 week appointment at Toledo Hospital to get my first trimester screen done. During this appointment they checked for three things: 1. Make sure there is a bone in the baby's nose (via ultrasound) 2. Check the skin on the back of it's neck (via ultrasound) 3. Prick my finger and drop 5 drops of blood on a piece of paper (it's a little bit more technical than this, but you get it). Oh the amazing things they can do nowadays!
Due to the weather, Jeremy was off work and was able to make my appointment with me. So first we went back to get an ultrasound. The tech immediately commented on my long uterus "that you skinny girls have" (that was nice to hear) making her job more difficult. She was only joking, know that we loved this woman! It doesn't mean anything to me or the baby, just that I might not get as huge as other pregnant women. I also found out that I am "VERY fertile" from the looks of my ovaries (very good to know for future birth control methods). The baby must have been sleeping at first so the tech pushed on my belly a little bit with the wand, and wow that woke it up!! From there we saw the bone in it's nose, and skin on it's neck, all great signs. As the tech checked out more we saw the baby flip from back to tummy, lift its hands all around, and suck it's thumb. It was amazing to see how much bigger it got since I had seen it last. While we were watching I asked if she thought I would be able to find out the sex at my 16 week appointment. She said "probably depending on the type of ultrasound you have. Why, do you guys want to find out?" To which I replied "oh yes, I think it is going to be a boy, he thinks it will be a girl." And then, surprisingly she told us,"well I have to say I think it is going to be a boy because look here." and there she showed us the beginning of a little pickle :) We are having a boy again!! It is still very early to tell, but most likely that is what we will be having! A mother is always right ;). After the ultrasound I met with the MFM (high risk) doc and he said all looks good, and gave me some further restrictions in the pregnancy just to be safe. We then went on to meet with the genetics specialist to get my finger pricked and squeezed. So so far everything looks good for our baby boy :)

Feeling Better, Finally!

12 weeks in and I am doing great! I am getting my energy back and the nausea is subsiding, which is an amazing feeling. I had another doctor's appointment today with my ob, and my mom and I were able to hear the baby's heartbeat. It seemed like it took forever to find, but thankfully we heard the pitter-patter of a wonderful baby.

The doctor discussed with me that the high risk doctor believes that I will need to have a c-section for this pregnancy and all subsequent pregnancies due to the prematurity of my uterus and the location of my incision when I had Brody. This wasn't a huge upset to me, a part of me is disappointed that I will never get to deliver a baby the good old fashion way, but another part of me is relieved that I won't run the risk of another abruption. It seems like we are shooting for the first week in August for delivery. Once it gets closer to picking out an actual date, I will hopefully be persuading my doctor to deliver on the 9th (8-9-10...sweet huh?). Ultimately my doctor hopes that I make it that long. He says he will be relieved when I make it to 8 months. We will likely be bringing home a preemie, but not a baby that needs to be in the NICU. Not a big surprise.

So here is what to come: next week I meet back with the high risk doctor for an ultrasound and a first trimester screening (more blood tests!). In a month I meet back with my ob for another ultrasound and to check my cervix. Many women that pprom have an incompetent cervix, so they will check mine regularly to make sure it is good and closed! I will be 16 weeks at this point so there is the possibility that we will be able to find out the sex, yaaay! The nurse told me that it is very hard to tell at this point, but "sometimes you can see a little pickle." I will also be getting the quad screen blood test at this appointment. From there I will have another 20 week ultrasound (hopefully with plenty of fluid) at my ob's office and a 22 week ultrasound with the high risk doctor- and hopefully, if all goes smoothly, that is the last I will meet with him.

I am 12 weeks now, which is greatly reassuring, but somewhat terrifying. It was this week in my last pregnancy that I ended up in the ER due to massive bleeding. I will be very happy when this week is over :)

Adding On

One year after losing our precious son, we decided to try again. I remember my sitting down with my doctor for my post-partum check up, asking her when we could try again. Her response was "after three regular periods, you are free to start trying again." I remember sitting in the room thinking "three months, I have to wait three months?! 3 months, plus 9 months is one year (yeah I went to school for that) and I cannot wait a year until I have a child in my arms." And then later on my mom and I spoke and she told me to wait a year. HA! I couldn't imagine waiting three months, how could I wait a year?! Somehow we did, and in November we decided to start trying for our second child together.
Due to my mad math skills I knew we would probably find out if I was pregnant when we were on our honeymoon in Cancun the first week of December. I packed 5 pregnancy tests with me, because I knew I would not want to wait, and would probably start peeing on sticks before I could get an accurate result. As many of you know, my luggage arrived a few days late to Cancun. Ughhhh! I wanted to take a test so bad and couldn't, so Jeremy and I went to a drugstore where we tried to ask for a pregnancy test. It was very amusing watching Jeremy simulate having a baby bump and peeing on a stick! After she the lady tried to give us a pill that she described as "this make no baby" we eventually got a test. It was false :(. Eventually my luggage came, and every test I took was negative. What a bummer!! I guess getting pregnant would be harder than I thought. We got home, and my mom asks "so, are you pregnant?" Through the wonderful world of facebook she picked up on the subtle hints from my pprom sisters (who knew we were trying) and had to ask. It wasn't fun telling her no, but she had hope because she knew we were tyring. That night Jeremy and I went to get some groceries, and I picked up one last test "just in case." It was positive! After so many negatives this was such a surprise. It was such a surprise that Jeremy made me go out and get another test before telling anyone.
So my first task was to get a doctor. Someone who took my pregnancy very seriously, considered me high risk, and knew all about pprom. After a frustrating exploration and getting paired with a midwife, I switched practices. I am now going to an amazing doctor, the man that actually delivered me! My first appointment went great, my doctor ordered several extra tests for me and was very thorough. My mom and I got to see the baby via ultrasound and got a due date of August 18th.
About a week after my appointment I got a call from my doctor about my labs. He explained to me that I have a genetic defect called Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase aka MTHFR. I am also homozygous which means that I inherited a gene from both of my parents. This basically means that my blood clots more easily and I do not process folic acid normally. If untreated, I have a high risk of miscarriage. I am now on baby aspirin to thin my blood and Folgard to get this baby the proper amount of folic acid. I also asked the doctor if this is why I pprom'd to which he replied "it could definitely be a reason why you had the abruption." Immediately after receiving this news I googled MTHFR. The first site I got to put me into a panic (pregnancy-info.net/mthfr). I wrote my pprom group and thankfully Dana put me at ease informing me that its no big deal when treated. phew!
A few weeks later I (along with my mom)met with one of the high risk doctors at Toledo. I got another ultrasound and was able to see the little one wiggling around, it was wonderful to see! It was amazing to see the difference in a matter of weeks. Then it was on to meet with the doctor. I was terrified. I was about to meet with the same doctor that told me the horrible news about Brody, and advised me to terminate. He was the bearer of my bad news and I had so much resentment built up against him. My appointment with him went well. He told me the chances of this being a successful pregnancy are "excellent." What a relief! He also believes that MTHFR is nothing to worry about, it didn't even seem to phase him. He also explained his rationale with advising termination. He knew Brody wasn't going to make it, and now I have a scar across my stomach when there never had to be one there. But then I look at Suki, a pprom sister's miracle: she pprom'd at 14 weeks and delivered at 27 (shortly after I had Brody).. I absolutely love looking at the pictures of this little girl. I would have always wondered "what if...." but now I don"t have to.
So far I am 11 weeks, and everything is looking great! I have had three calls from the doctors so far that go "We got your results back and everything looks great except..." but everything is always fixable! I am getting amazing care, and am so elated about this little one!!
Also, to all those that are asking me the sex of the baby: The sex of a baby is not determined until 16 weeks. Rarely will a doctor schedule and ultrasound to determine the sex, since it is not crucial to the baby's health. The high risk doc wants to do ultrasounds at 13 weeks and 22 weeks, so that means I probably wont find out until April, sorry! Believe me, we are very curious...I think it will be a boy, Jeremy thinks girl, and the high risk doc thinks girl because I am "beautiful." I really don't care though, as long as my baby gets here healthy :)

Doubly Blessed

Blissfully ignorant. It is a phrase that I have used before to describe how the majority of women go through pregnancies. That is how I was until 21 weeks pregnant. I still stuggle when I see pregnant women, or women with infants. To me, they don't even realize what a precious gift they have. BUT today I found out of an amazing couple that finally got their precious gift, twice.

As rare as pProm is, my cousin Marc's wife Wynn also suffered from this condition while pregnant with their son Owen. Unfortunately he only lived for five hours, but this broadened my mother's knowledge of the condition, which in the end, helped me realize that I did NOT have to terminate Brody.

After losing Owen, Marc and Wynn decided to adopt. Along the road they suffered many different dissapointments. Times when they thought they would bring a baby home, circumstances prohibited this. FINALLY they were just blessed to adopt twins :) They now have a boy and a girl at home, which I know they will cherish more than anything. I cant imagine what that feels like to finally have a breathing, crying, hungry child of my own to hold in my arms- they must be ecstatic!

Anyways, I felt I should share this. I couldn't be happier for Marc and Wynn and their two new blessings they finally got to bring home.

A Rainy Trip to Florida

Riley holding on to his cousin Brody's bear.

After completing a highly anticipated trip to Florida, I am currently on my flight home with my mom. Now don’t get too worried- I’m typing in word, then will copy and paste later on. Our time there was wonderful, but rainy. We had one sunny day the entire time there, but it was never actually warm enough to put a bathing suit on and get a tan. Other than that I had a blast! I was very nervous and apprehensive about going at first. Since Brody’s passing I have relied so heavily on Jeremy for emotional support, so I was very worried that I would not be able to make it a week without him. He has learned how to comfort me and handle my breakdowns, and I didn’t know how I would be able to handle it if he wasn’t there to comfort me. I was also very anxious about seeing my nephew, Riley, for the first time. Brody was born just a mere two days after Riley was, so it was very bittersweet to see him. When I found out that I was pregnant the same time as my sister, I couldn’t help but imagine our children growing up together, being the same age. So the fact that Riley was there and Brody wasn’t was very heartbreaking to me. I know though that these two had been conspiring together before they were even born, so I know that Riley has a wonderful angel that will always be watching over him. Like most “firsts” I have experienced so far, the anticipation is far worse than the actual event itself. I loved seeing Riley, holding him, making him laugh, and seeing his smile. He is adorable, and has a wonderful mother taking care of him. It is just unfortunate that they don’t live closer! L Aside from the rain, we made the most of our trip. If life gives you lemons, make lemonade- right? It was so great to spend some time with my sister and my mom- and to take my mind of the everyday stressors. What is better than shopping, nice dinners, facials, and boat trips with your mom and sister? Not much. We laughed, we cried, we gossiped- things only girls can do together. We used to be the majority in our house, and now that we are separated, we live with all men…so it’s nice to get out and do girl things every now and then. I am ready to be home now, though. I miss my family. I miss my Peanut, Kiwi, and Snickers greeting me at the door. I miss Jeremy’s hugs and comfort. I miss Layne and Chase’s unending energy and joy for life. So although I had an amazing time with my beautiful mom and sister- I’m ready to come home!

Staying inside to avoid the chilly weather...

I am very excited to get past February...the anticipation of the events in the month was almost worse than the actual days I was dreading. I got past Brody's estimated due date by visiting his grave, spending time with Lindsay, and making a cake. I know to some, making a cake for your child that has passed seems a little morbid...just be happy you can be on the other side of it. Like one of my pprom sisters likes to say...."blissfully ignorant." I am so blessed to even hold Brody, so I decided to celebrate his life with a cake.
I am not sure if any of you watched Extreme Home Makeover this past Sunday, May 1st, but it was simply amazing. It focused on a family where the mother took pictures of preemie babies with their families right after being born. Some babies were alive, some had passed, and some passed shortly after her photos. It really hit SO close to home, Jeremy and I cried the entire episode. It is nice that the world is able to see a little bit of what we went through, and how much we cherish our pictures with Brody. To watch the Augustin Family's full episode online go to http://fep.abc.go.com/fep/player?src=abccomjs&show=92244&pn=index This is a truly amazing episode, and I encourage you to watch it!
As far as everything else, it is going good! Wedding plans are going along great. Save the date- June 27th! I want to apologize to those who are not invited in advance, there is just no possible place to put everyone we want at the lake. Therefore, it is going to be mainly family invited, and no children. I know this will mean many people will not come if their children cannot come, but we just do not have the room. I had to make the choice to either have 75 people come to my wedding, or I could let 30 people come with their children. Obviously I love kids, it is just that we absolutely have no room for them at the lake. Thanks in advance for your understanding.
Also, I want to thank the people that have sponsored our March of Dimes walk so far. You are truly some amazing people! If you havent, you still have time! Check out my post below for more info.

Sponsor our March for Babies!!

Monday, February 16th was Brody's estimated due date. I have been so anxious of this date, but fortunately I have stayed extremely busy. Between substitute teaching, waitressing, and taking care of a sick puking Jeremy, I haven't had a chance to really think about things and cry. It is sort of emotionally refreshing.
I have had time, though, to sign up Jeremy, his boys, and I to walk in memory of Brody in March of Dime's March for Babies on April 26th. I love their slogan, "One day, all babies will be born healthy." They are one of the few organizations that are doing research for premature babies, and to my knowledge one of the only organizations doing research for pPROM. You have no idea how frustrating it is to have no answers about pPROM. Hopefully, someday, we will understand more through this research. This helps me a lot by doing something positive with his death by helping other babies. I urge you to please sponsor our walk by donating even a dollar to sponsor me, Jeremy, Layne, or Chase. To donate, go to : www.marchforbabies.org/teammouch We really appreciate it!